"I am a Fattist"

Unravel Hardwired Samskaras & Reprogramme Self-Image

Fattist. Is not a word you can say or hear these days without raised eyebrows. In fact spell check did not even recognise it.

Fattist: adjective. /ˈfætɪst/ /ˈfætɪst/ ​treating people unfairly because of their large body size.

This blog hopes to inspire you to look into your vulnerabilities and inquire why they exist. It aspires to lead you into a journey of self inquiry and body acceptance but also gives you an understanding of why you have this weird relationship with your body (if you have one!)

In July I was doing #ComeAliveInJuly, a personal challenge on instagram for me to be courageous and provide more valued content on the gram on a regular basis. It has been fun creating content and learning so much about myself. But it also dug up some antiquated ideas that still seem to be hardwired in my brain.

As was recording a video on Abhyanga, an ancient self massage technique that I try and practice every now and then. As I was taking the video of massaging my stomach, I suddenly felt repulsed and fat. All of the insecurities about my body kicked in. I decided to bin the whole reel idea. One thought led to another so much so I started doubting my abilities as a yoga teacher!

My yoga practice has taught me not to be too involved in all my thoughts, not to take everything at face value. It has taught me kindness, compassion and patience towards myself. So, after a little pause, contemplation and perspective I came back to my senses. However, it got me thinking how even with awareness practices, I can still experience body image issues.

I did end up making a video about body image issues instead" give it some love: watch here . I even posted the abhyanga reel eventually.

Embracing body positivity is the same as our yoga journey, non linear. It is ever evolving and can be challenging. The unrealistic beauty standards set by society on us, especially the female gender, from the time we start to become aware of our bodies, does not help.

If I go down to the root cause of why I felt the way that I did, it is because: I am a fattist.

I have always had a problem with seeing weight on myself or on other people. In my mind, the size of a person has a direct association with being unhealthy. Words that come to my mind are 'inertia', 'slobbery', 'laziness'.

Please wait, before you get upset. I know this is "stroking with a broad brush". I know that it is not black and white. Weight is not necessarily directly linked with health (and beauty). Many other defining and moving components come into play. This 'olden' way of thinking is not my fault. It is a result of years of brainwashing : "thin is beautiful and glamorous" "Thin is healthy".

Remember: "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels"

You look at the beautiful women from Gen X who we looked up to as talented and stunning actresses. So many are now (according to me) deformed in trying to look young. There is a constant expectation of being and looking a certain way. The influence of social media on body image and our mental health when we binge through endlessly, is proof in itself.

So when I saw the bulge on my stomach being moved and massaged around.. all of that weight smirch came flooding back.

Samskaras also play a bit part. Simplistically put, Samskaras in the yogic sense are impressions in our mind and life created by past and present actions, deeds and thoughts.

Samskaras can be loosely compared to the modern day "unconscious bias". These can be judgemental and hyper critical thoughts towards situations and people, that have formed unknowingly. If you inquire with all honesty, perhaps you might find these biases even towards yourself.

You might think many of these biases are "warranted" because they are a consequence of what we believe in and what we have learnt to be the norm. They might be beliefs that our parents have held and their parents before them.

It helps having a steadfast awareness based practice to first identify then question and then break free if need be from any stigmas that we might be holding on to. It has been one of the biggest (un)learnings on my part. Dropping away judgement and identifying and questioning preconceived ideas.

Yoga is always bringing me opportunities to challenge my thinking. It is gradually helping me break down the stigma of many things, weight and the glamour of skinny being one of them. My self awareness practice is leading me to redefine my understanding of what is beautiful and advocate a more inclusive and diverse definition of attractiveness. It is helping me to embrace my body as it adapts to the aging process.

In this aging process, tho, it is all very well accepting that we are a certain shape and cultivating a healthy relationship with our rotund midriff, but we do need our core to be strong. We need an understanding of why we hold this unwavering belly fat.

We need it to be strong for a variety of health and fitness reasons. Some motivating reasons for midlifers to have a strong core are:

- mental wellness and good gut

- energy and vitality

- less back pain and better posture

- stability and injury prevention

We need to keep ourselves fit and strong in body and mind through our midlife so that we can enjoy the life that has yet to arrive.

Along with keeping physically fit, a healthy mental relationship with your body and building body confidence can have a significant impact on overall happiness, your relationships and general mental wellbeing.

A few simple pointers would be to:

- Practice self compassion and kindness to foster body acceptance

- Overcome negative self-talk by being mindful of triggers and emotions

- Challenge society's beauty standards and slowly start redefining what's attractive to you

- Work on self-empowering affirmations that contribute to a healthier body image

- Move your focus on how you are feeling internally rather than just appearance

- Make your fitness intentions and goals about health over superficial beautification

- Connect and move around with like minded body-positive friends and communities

I'm doing a class on this topic in our facebook group on 9th August and I would love you to join. I will cover what samskaras are how they are hardwired into us. How we can start to unravel these and try to detach ourselves from them. How they affect us in relation to our body image. But more importantly, I will also teach you some asanas to ignite the deep reaching abdominal muscles to build strength.

A recording will be available.

Some positive affirmations for you:

"Own your uniqueness"

"Workout because you love your body not because you hate it"

"To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don't need o be accepted by others. You need to be accepted by yourself."

"Don't let your mind bully your body"

You are invited to join me for a Yoga class as I take you through Samskaras, deep reaching easy access core asanas and a body positivity meditation.

Book your Free spot

gratitude and love

Purnima